Providing criticism can be a little a like walking on eggshells. You want to be helpful, but, sometimes, egos can easily be bruised. However, good criticism has great value. Sometimes people do not understand the mistakes they are making.
Providing constructive criticism effectively is a learned skill. Providing to poorly criticism poorly almost always turns into a nightmare.
Strategies to deliver positive criticism effectively:
1. Ensure your criticism is actually helpful.
- There are many things we can say that are true, but not all of them are helpful.
- Unless you feel absolutely confident that your critique will be beneficial, keep your comments to yourself.
- Consider what you are about to say and to whom.
- Some people take criticism much better than others.
- Even the best of intentions will not always result in a positive response.
- Be prepared for a negative reaction.
2. Ensure that you are the best person to provide the criticism.
- Consider your history with the other person.
- Perhaps they would be more receptive to the ideas if someone else brought it to their attention.
3. Be very specific.
- It is not helpful if you say, “Man, it wasn’t very good.”
- Specific feedback is much more beneficial and actionable.
- Focus on a few key points and provide specific suggestions on how to remedy the situation.
4. Choose an appropriate time and place.
- Do not provide criticism in front of the other person’s peers. This is, at best, a questionable practice.
- In most cases, a little privacy is a far superior idea.
- Attempt to minimize the embarrassment the other person might feel.
5. Keep your own emotions under control.
- You may have good reason to feel upset, but your criticism will have the wrong tone.
- Calm yourself down, and give the feedback in a fair and balanced way.
- Watch the tone of your voice, as well.
6. Focus on the behavior, not the person.
- Telling someone that they are sloppy will always be received as an insult.
- Telling them their tennis backhand technique is inconsistent addresses the specific behavior.
- When you attach the error to the person, resentment occurs.
- Would you rather have your significant other ask you to pick up your dirty socks or have them ask why you are such a slob?
- The difference in the responses would be startling.
7. Smile a little
- Just about everything is easier with a smile.
- Use open body language.
- Show that your message is sincere.
- A smile also conveys that everything will be okay.
8. Start with a sincere compliment, if possible.
- Say something positive about their performance before launching into your criticism.
- A critique is easier to take after hearing a compliment.
- End the criticism session with a compliment also.
9. Small steps.
- Even if you can spot 20 flaws, keep your comments limited to the one or two that are most easily fixed.
- Set people up to be successful.
- Too much criticism can be overwhelming.
- Help others to perform at their best.
- When the smaller errors have been corrected, feel free to address the more significant issues.
- You also build trust with this tip. The more serious criticisms can then easier to accept.
10. A little humor goes a long way.
- Be lighthearted if it is appropriate.
- Humor makes everything just a little more palatable.
- Share a funny story about the mistakes you have made in the past. This will help to ease any tension or embarrassment.
11. Know when to stop.
- Pay close attention to their reaction.
- It will be obvious when they have had enough. When that happens, it is time to wrap things up.
- There will always another time and place to revisit the issue.
If you have children, employees, colleagues at work, or a significant other, there will be occasions to provide constructive criticism.
Depending on the situation, providing criticism can help us too, especially if the other person is driving you crazy.
Providing criticism well is a skill you can learn. Learn to be helpful and provide constructive comments to the people in your life.
An acquaintance merely enjoys your company,
a fair-weather companion flatters when all is well,
a true friend has your best interests at heart
and the pluck to tell you what you need to hear.
E.A. Bucchianeri
[Photo Credit: JoshuaDavisPhotography via Compfight cc]
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