The term “emotional fitness” has been buzzing around for a while, but what if we applied this thinking to our communication and public speaking skills?
All too often we will watch a video, read, a book or attend a training on communication and think, “Those are great tips! I need to do that more!” and then we never do. How can we tackle something we learned and actually apply it to our day-to-day?
These are the best ways to develop your skills and maintain a great “communication fitness” routine.
Think of your breathing while you speak
Most people just start talking completely unaware of how they are breathing. The way you breathe is just as important as what you say.
This is why diaphragmatic breathing is crucial. When we breathe diaphragmatically, it not only helps relax tension, nerves, and anxiety but it also helps eliminate filler words.
People also refer to this as belly breathing. There are many videos to show how to do this, but I also want to point out that this is the “natural” way to breathe. When we are sleeping at night and relaxed, what is going up and down? It is not your chest—it is your stomach. However, because of stressful situations, we start to breathe from our chest, which induces panic.
When you get into the habit of breathing this natural way, not only will you start to manage your nerves, but you may notice you start to eliminate some of your filler words (things like “um,” “ah,” “like,” and “so”). Where these filler words show up is usually an indicator that you should be putting in another breath—and when you do not give yourself the permission of time to do so, not only are you less relaxed, but less understood.
The other benefit of diaphragmatic breathing is that it helps present your ideas. Most of the time we present too many ideas in one breath, and it is not digestible for our audience. When we use our breathing, we present our ideas in chunks that your audience will be more likely to remember.
You can practice this skill daily, when you are listening in a meeting, when you are presenting, even when you are speaking with your family. The more you use it, it will become a habit and a strong muscle that will help you when the pressure is on.
Practice your gestures
Gesturing is important and it adds another dimension to your communication. All too often I run into clients who either gesture too much, not at all, or just don’t know how.
One of the best ways to learn how you gesture authentically is to become an observer of yourself. You can record your meetings and watch yourself back. You can look at yourself in your window during video calls. In person, start to notice when and how you move your body and hands—were you relaxed? Were you telling a story? Were you describing something?
Once you notice how you gesture naturally, you can incorporate this into your presentations and meetings.
Energy always wants to come out of your body. When you don’t put this energy into your gestures when you speak it will find its way out by either your body. Some examples of this are shifting from side to side when standing, or chair swaying back and forth, or head moving way too much, or playing with jewelry, hair, etc. When you allow yourself to gesture authentically your communication will be more engaging and other self-soothing habits will start to subside.
Take a beat before starting or responding
Your name is called. You’re asked a question. You walk up to the podium. You start talking right away without even taking in the audience. This is a common mistake. Most people don’t take a quick beat to actually “take in” our surroundings. We go before we are ready.
It is important to give yourself a quick beat to take in your audience or assess a question or response. If you respond too quickly, you can often get ahead of your thoughts and wondering what the question was or starting off the presentation leaving your audience feeling isolated because you have not seen them.
When you take a moment to breathe (hopefully diaphragmatically) and take a beat, you will have better success in your responses and presentations.
When you learn communication skills, it is important to practice them daily, not just when the stakes are high. Practice with your coworkers, family, or even in a small exchange with a stranger. By breathing, gesturing, and taking a beat daily, you will make meaningful changes to the way you communicate and enhance your leadership presence.
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