How to Create More Confidence

Martina McGowan — February 11, 2017 Follow @MartinaMcGowan

Don’t be satisfied with stories,

how things have gone with others.

Unfold your own myth.

Jalaluddin Rumi

We all want to feel and act more self-confidently. Self-confidence can be the difference between enjoying life and fearing to step outside of our comfort zones, where life tends to be faily easy and relatively simple and straightforward. Fear is what keeps us locked inside our shells and holds us back from trying new things. Fear of success, fear of failure, fear of being riduculed; just plain fear.

Each of the things that go into building self-confidence are not under our direct control. However, enough of them are controllable as to make a huge difference in our lives. We can develop the habits and hone the skills that make self-confidence almost automatic.

With more confidence, we can achieve more, too. Self-confidence is personal power.

Strategies for becoming more self-confident and enjoying life:

1. Keep track of your successes.

• Do this all day long.
  
• Start each day with a fresh sheet of paper and list your wins and successes.
  
• It may be something as simple as a good performance at a meeting or completing a report on time.
  
• This system will change your focus and increase your self-esteem.
  
• We each have plenty of successes every day. But, we ususally only notice a few spectacular successes over the course of a year.
  
• Interestingly, it is very easy to notice every little mis-step.
  
• Make a list of all your successes, large and small.
  
• Avoid dwelling about your failures.

2. Pay attention to your own body language.

• Strong, confident people stand tall and sit up straight.
  
• Maintain good eye contact.
  
• Keep your body in an open posture.
  
• Smile.
  
• Be attentive to your surroundings. Watch the body language of others during conversation.
  
• Imagine the most confident person or movie character you can think of. How do they stand, walk, and move?
  
• Adopt the physiology and mindset of someone who is confident, and you will begin to feel more confident.
  
• Think of yourself as a highly confident person and carry yourself as one.

3. Do something that makes you a little uncomfortable.

• Having success outside of your normal comfort zone is a quick way to boost your self-confidence.
  
• Take a speech class, go sky-diving or whitewater rafting.
  
• When you can learn to deal with discomfort and experience success, your level of self-confidence will grow rapidly.
  
• There are countless opportunities to test this theory each day.

4. Dump of the negative voices in your head.

• Those self-defeating thoughts that never seem to stop can be a major drain on our level of confidence.
  
• Catch yourself when you are starting to make negative comments to and about yourself.
  
• Change your self-talk into a more positive direction.

5. Bring your best game.

• Be overprepared. But do not slip into the pitfalls of perfectionism.
  
• A lack of preparation can drain your self-confidence.
  
• Whether you are unprepared for a speech, a meeting, a test at school, or a vacation, preparation is the key to confidence.

6. Make of list of your greatest attributes.

• List them all:
  
  
  
  • your smile
    
  • your sense of humor
    
  • your ability to play tan instrument.
    
  • are all fair game. Li
  
  
• List everything about yourself that is even slightly positive.
  
• Begin to notice what a great person you already are. Then notice how much more confident you feel after making the list.
  
• You can probably easily rattle off all the things you think are wrong with you. Making the list of things that are right and wonderful will take more time and thought.

7. Be more assertive.

• When you ask for what you truly want, you feel better about yourself.
  
• When you go after the things you desire, you feel more confident.
  
• Taking control of some of the areas of your life will instill greater self-confidence.

8. Focus on giving back.

• By focusing on making a contribution into the lives of others, we have less time to worry about our own flaws, real and perceived.
  
• One way to stop thinking negatively about yourself is to put your attention on something more important.
  
• The positive feelings and respect you will gain will also allow your self-confidence to grow.

It is a phrase from an old army commercial, but you should work to “Be all that you can be.”

A little more self-confidence will kick-start your way to greater acheivements and bring you more peace of mind.

Self-confidence ebbs and flows, depending on the situation, but a healthy level of self-confidence is a powerful trait to possess.

Photo Credit: built4love.hain Flickr via Compfight cc

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