Paul Keijzer — December 10, 2019 Life can get tricky at times. We have all had those moments in which we find ourselves at a crossroad. It is in such bleak moments that we feel unsure of what the future holds for us.
I am sure you can relate to this state of confusion in which you know that you are capable of doing so much but you remain unsure of how to gather yourself up to be able to reach your own potential. It could be the feedback from your manager that makes you realize that you can do more, or the feeling of helplessness when your health lets you down, or perhaps when you start failing at striking that work-life balance.
In the midst of all this, one thing you should always remember is; be true to yourself and ask this question:
Am I happy where I am in my life right now and am I at peace with where I am headed?
If your first thought is yes, I am happy with how things are working out then I am really glad for you, keep it up and more power to you. But if you are unsure of your answer or if your answer is no, then this is the biggest cue for you to start taking measures and reinventing yourself.
The first question that pops in your mind would be what do I do now? Where do I start from and how do I keep going? Reinventing yourself is one of the hardest things to do. It’s not easy to give up years of conditioning and start to unlearn the things that had been there in your attitude, personality and behavior since the beginning. It’s hard to resist so many distractions and keep your focus on one thing. Life coaches would guide you the best as to how to change your lifestyle. An important technique that I learnt many years ago from a master coach is known as RIVAS. Let me explain to you how it really works:
Results
Before you start the process of reinventing yourself, you must ask yourself – what is it that you want to change? Is it your weight that’s bothering you and you want to reduce it? Is it your career that you think needs major changes? Do you have an addiction that you want to get rid of? Do you want to be able to spend more time with your friends and family? Do you want to learn a new skill? Change your leadership style? Whatever it is that you want to change, you must be very sure of it and you must be confident about where you want to be in the next five-ten years of your life.
Intent
So you are well aware of the change you want to bring in your life or career. But do you know why? Because the “intent” is very important to know. It is where the basic drive comes from.
The “5 Way Technique” will help you align your thoughts by asking the Why question to every answer you give.
For example: You are quite desperate for a promotion and for that promotion, you are willing to re-invent yourself. Ask yourself this first question:
“Why am I so desperate to get this promotion?”
One of the answers for this could be that you really want to improve your financial conditions or you want validation. Ask yourself the next question:
“Why is it so important for me to be recognized?”
Your answer for the above question could be because you want your parents to be proud of you and the next question will be based on the same thought process.
“Why must my father feel proud of me?”
You might come to the conclusion that it is important for you that your father feels proud of you because he has worked so hard in bringing you up, and now you feel that it is your time to payback for all his love and all the sacrifices he has made for you. You see, by going through step by step in un-peeling the ‘intent onion’, you understand the reason of your commitment to stay focused on your project. You come to terms with what is driving you to want to reinvent yourself as a leader.
Visualization
Now that you are aware of what you want and you understand why you want it. It’s time to imagine how it would feel to achieve it. Visualize yourself achieving what you’d set for to achieve in the first place. It helps you align your thoughts and makes it more realistic. A great tip to visualize is to actually close your eyes and imagine what will the future be, how will your surroundings change and what would the new ‘you’ be like. Visualization with intent will be the driving force for your motivation.
Action
This step requires you to actually follow the reality you have been dreaming of. Researches have observed that people who dream about a perfect life are often not ready for the setbacks that happen in getting to their goal.
Imagining something is easier than actually trying to make it happen. To have a proper pathway and actions to take into reaching your goal, Professor Richard Wiseman has designed a plan to change your intentions into action in his book 59 Seconds:
- Have a plan with clear sub-goals and steps transform
- Tell your friends and make public declarations of this intent
- Have an objective checklist on how better life would be if you achieve your plan
- Reward themselves on achieving sub goals
- Make the commitments, plans, and achievements in writing
Support
The last element of RIVAS concept that life coaches use is the Support section. Without moral support, a lot of people give up because of the loneliness they feel in achieving their purpose. To have support, you need to have a clear understanding of what you need from others and how they can help you. It’s okay to rely on someone to help you achieve your goals. It could be a quick feedback from your boss, or small tip from your colleague or maybe just asking your better half to stop pampering you by cooking all that yummy high carb food.
Re-inventing yourself is no walk in the park. It’s a long process, which requires a lot of dedication from one’s side. It’s fun as long as you let others join you in your journey and stay focused yourself as well. Good luck on keeping track of your achievements and more power to you!
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