Parenting takes work—so much, in fact, that it’s the equivalent of a second job, according to a new survey from the Harris Poll and Skylight, a company that designs calendars for families. Some 2,000 parents with children younger than 18 were asked to quantify the work of being a parent. Here’s what they revealed: 

• The mental load: On average, parents said managing a household occupies 63% of their brain space on a given day, and totals as much as 30 hours per week, which would be the equivalent of $60,000 per year if they were being paid. Almost 58% of parents said it feels impossible to stay on top of family activities.
• The gender gap: 78% of mothers said they are the default parent compared to 58% of fathers. More than 80% of mothers said their child’s school will contact them first before reaching out to their partner, compared to 60% of fathers. In addition, 86% of mothers said their child will ask them for help first if they can’t find something, compared to 62% of fathers. In dual-income households, 64% of mothers said they are the primary caregiver compared to 40% of fathers. In addition, 70% of mothers said they are in charge of five or more household tasks, while 61% of fathers said they are in charge of five or fewer household tasks.
• Scheduling anxiety: 81% of parents said they had a family scheduling issue impact them at work, while one-third of parents said they would rather give up sex for a year than give up their calendar. About 58% of parents said they spend more time managing the logistics of parenting than experiencing the joys of parenting.

“Our recent study with Skylight illuminates the staggering unseen burden of the mental load on parents—akin to a full-time job, unrecognized and unpaid, worth $60,000 annually,” Libby Rodney, the Harris Poll’s chief strategy officer, said in a statement. “Parents are not only overworked but are also missing out on the joys of parenting and their partners due to the immense mental load they carry.”