If you’re fielding calls from recruiters—either because you’re seeking a new position or new opportunities have fallen in your lap—you may be asking yourself: Should I tell my boss?

The answer to that question will depend on your relationship with your boss. If you’re working in a toxic environment and are likely to receive significant backlash, you may keep the news quiet until you’re out the door. If you have a great relationship with your boss, you may choose to tell them immediately—but to what end?

If you feel like you’re “cheating” with another company and just want to offload your guilt by confessing to your boss, you may not get the satisfaction you want out of that conversation. Or if you haven’t thought through where you want the conversation to go, talking to your boss is likely a bad move. 

In both cases, your boss can’t do anything productive with the information. Plus, your boss may even view you differently. For instance, maybe your boss will lessen your workload if they think you have one foot out the door. That’s bad news if you decide you want to stay or even grow at your current company. 

Here are the clear-cut guidelines for when—and how—to let your boss know you’re considering other jobs.

If you want to stay 

If you want to stay, tell your boss only when you’ve decided what exactly you want from your current job.

What was attractive about the offer you received? This information can be a useful bargaining tool. Have an honest conversation with your boss about what it will take to keep you at the company. Perhaps the proposed new position offers an increase in salary. You can leverage that to negotiate a raise. Money is not always worth a career switch, and you are entitled to ask for a raise. Simply put: If the offer on the table is exciting because of a better salary, it’s time for a negotiation.

Of course, money is just one element of a new career opportunity. Would you like the opportunity to work on different projects? With different people? Does the new role come with better benefits? Determine why the offer is tempting you and weigh the pros and cons of leaving versus staying. If staying has more in the pro column, talk with your boss about how to make your current role even better.

If you want to leave 

On the other hand, if you want to leave, tell your boss when it’s time to begin transition planning.

If you’re not sure whether you want to accept a new offer, I would recommend not sharing more information than necessary. Try not to tell your boss more than two months before your intended departure date. Generally, eight weeks is more than enough time for a company to put a transition plan in place. Communicate your intention to help facilitate this transition plan. Even if you’re leaving a less-than-positive work environment, aim to leave on good terms.

The “I quit” conversation is never easy, even if you and your boss have a great relationship. Fortunately, there are ways to prepare. Be kind but also direct and clear about your intention. Hopefully, your boss will voice their support and won’t respond to your news with anger, threats, or guilt-tripping. If they do, that’s an indication that you’ve made the right choice to leave. These kinds of conversations can be painful in the moment, yet are ultimately helpful in retrospect. How someone responds when you tell them unwelcome news reveals more about their character than run-of-the-mill interactions do.

Timing 

I recommend that you do not share information about calls from recruiters too soon, even if you’re close with your boss.

If you have an especially close relationship with your boss, you may want to share your intended departure sooner. Yet telling your boss too soon is not a good idea and it will put them in an awkward position. Your boss will feel the need to tell their boss. Are you ready for your departure to become public knowledge? If not, keep the news to yourself. When, after consideration and at the right time, you share the news, deliver the message with care—especially if your boss is likely to feel betrayed or hurt.

If you have a good working relationship with your boss, or even a friendship, it may feel hard to keep thoughts of leaving to yourself. But the urge to not blindside someone can also tip into telling them too soon. Get clear on your intention first. If you’d like to stay, open the dialogue with that end in mind. If you know you’re going, leave enough time for your boss to craft a succession plan. The conversation may be tough, but you can do it in a way that is respectful to your boss and puts you in a good position for your next move.