How often do we hear people who sound weak?

We may not analyze why the person comes across the way that they do, but somehow we’re keenly aware that the person lacks confidence. We might see others dismiss them as being unsure of themselves.

Don’t be that person who is dismissed. Every word you use reflects your sense of self. If you use certain weak-sounding words, your subtext is “I could be wrong,” or “I am not certain about myself.”

One big credibility killer is the use of the past tense when you mean the present. So, ditch the following past tense expressions and replace them with strong, more confident language.

1. “I wanted to . . .”

This frequently used expression undercuts the speaker. I saw a LinkedIn post on International Women’s Day that opened, “I wanted to acknowledge the remarkable women in my life.”

The sentiment is a positive one, but the use of the past tense here implies that she wanted to . . .  but may have decided not to. Or, that she was not sure how her audience would receive her message, so she softened it.

Other uses of this passive approach to positive statements include “I wanted to thank you for the meeting,” or “I wanted to tell you how much I like your book.”

“I wanted to” conveys implicit uncertainty. So, don’t say to a networking contact, “I wanted to see if we could meet.” Avoid LinkedIn connection requests that begin, “I wanted to connect.” Far better is the use of forward looking verbs: “I would like to meet with you” or “I want to connect.”

2. “I thought that . . .”

Another past-tense expression to shun is, “I thought that . . .” If you tell your manager, “I thought that we might discuss my salary,” you’ll sound weak. You’re combining the past tense (“thought”) with the tentative verb “might.” You likely won’t get that raise.

Stronger versions of that request would be, “I would like to schedule a salary discussion with you,” or “It’s year-end, and I would appreciate a meeting with you to discuss my salary for next year.”

3. “I meant that . . .”

When you use this expression, you’re in recovery mode, trying to correct a misunderstanding.

For example, in a discussion with a colleague you might say, “I meant that as a compliment,” or “I meant that we can work on that together.” This backward look at words that were spoken can lead to, “But, you said.” That’s the start of a tense dialogue.

If your initial statement missed the mark, make your case again clearly and thoughtfully. But don’t go back and retrace what you said.

4. “I was thinking that . . .”

Another use of the past tense that doesn’t serve you well is, “I was thinking that.”

If you tell an employee, “I was thinking that we should have a meeting to discuss the project,” the listener doesn’t truly know if you plan to have that get-together. They also might wonder if you’re using the past tense because you are not fully committed to the idea.

Better to say, “Let’s have a meeting to discuss the project.” With the present tense, you come across as decisive and leaderlike.

5. “I was hoping that . . .”

The mindset that uses the past tense, also can turn to weaker verbs like “hope.” Avoid those traps. Be aware how feeble such sentences are. Scrap statements such as, “I was hoping that we could meet to discuss my job search,” or “I was hoping your company offers a work-from-home option.”

Replace them with strong, clear affirmations: “Let’s meet to discuss my job search,” or “I understand you offer employees a work-from-home option. That’s great!”

Stay in the present and avoid weak verbs like “hope.” You’ll be pleased with the results.

In short: Ditch the past tense, and remain in the present.